It’s September already. September holds a bittersweet spot in my heart. September 5, 1981 is the date that Sherrie Rubingh married Tim Grubbs and they took up the new family name of Lowly (the name change happened legally a few weeks later). Here is a photo on our wedding day.
I was talking to an AT&T customer representative today. When she asked what T.V. service we have I said none and explained our lack of any kind of cable service by saying that we are old hippies. The customer rep. said that she loves old hippies and then told about friends who went out to California when Jerry Garcia died and were never heard from again. “If I had done that,” she said, “My parents would have killed me.” “Seriously, I would not be talking to you today. I would be underground!”
It is so difficult to believe that this year marks thirty-five years since the artist and the social-worker were married in the Old Baker Books warehouse that had become Christ’s Community Church. As wedding ceremonies go, it was hippie-like, no long gown or tuxedoes, with lots of praying and singing and folk-dancing. Christian hippies that we were, living together in households of 15 people or more, sharing all of our resources in a “common-good” purse, working together to heal broken lives, “identifying with the poor.”
Thirty-five years later life looks much different. There are three Lowlys living together now. That is the other September anniversary. Our daughter, Temma Day Lowly, was born September 27, 1985. Two days later Temma stopped breathing and had a cardiac arrest with resulting severe brain damage. It’s a smaller community but we’re still working together to become lowly, identifying with the poor, healing broken lives, discovering a whole lot of love along the way, and always trying to build community.
I dreamt last night about a wedding. It was a remarriage for both partners and included children from previous marriages. There was an ominous feeling of one of the partners about to clash dramatically with the son of the other partner. But there was also a knowledge that out of the love in the relationship, the clash would not be fatal.
There have been clashes, crashes too, many changes along the way of our relationship in the thirty-five years. But love has not died. In fact, it is stronger. For that I’m grateful…un-dead!